My son...an addict?

Sometimes we learn our most important life lessons in our most difficult times. Today offered up such an opportunity. As I mentioned previously, we have only just begun our journey towards healing for Nicholas and though the road ahead will not be easy, I am committed to seeing him through. However, knowing something will not be easy, and experiencing the difficulties that present themselves are completely different things.

One week ago Nicholas began a diet that has shown miraculous results for children with Autism Spectrum Disorders. A diet free of gluten and casein offers promising results for these children and many parents report marked improvement in just a matter of days. We, too, thought we had such a testimony to give. We have been slowly eliminating the gluten and casein from Nicholas' diet and for the first five days, things seemed to improve greatly. He was behaving in a more calm manner and having less tantrums.

However, the hand of God was already at work. Just yesterday I found myself in Barnes and Noble looking for a cook book that would open the doors of this diet a little wider for me so that I could continue to ease Nicholas into this GFCF (gluten free, casein free) world. I picked out a book titled, The Kid-Friendly ADHD & Autism Cookbook: The Ultimate Guide to the Gluten-Free, Casein-Free Diet: What it is, Why it works, How to do it (long title, huh?). Already feeling a surge of confidence from the improvements Nicholas already displayed, I felt I already had a good handle on this whole GFCF thing; all I needed was a recipe or two and we'd be set! Right? Wrong!

Within the first few pages, I read why these precious children have to begin such a diet in the first place. Though Nicholas had already started, this was only due to the results I'd read from other parents. I must admit my ignorance in saying that I didn't know exactly why they needed it in the first place. As I read the words, my heart broke into a million pieces. I learned that my little boy, my precious son, is as addicted to the types of foods he eats as someone who abuses opiate type drugs such as morphine. I also learned that casein and gluten are the most common foods to have this opiate effect. These foods act like a morphine to the autistic child's brain, dulling pain receptors (no wonder he doesn't cry when he gets hurt), causing social withdrawal, and damaging the speech and auditory processing units of the brain.

The saddest part is that when taken off such foods, these children will go through withdrawal symptoms (ranging from irritability to rage) eerily similar to those experienced by morphine abusers. Such symptoms are runny nose, diarrhea, headache, nausea, kicking movements, muscle spasms, and chills.

My first thought was, "thank God Nicholas isn't going through that". Yet, God was preparing me. Today, Nicholas exhibited almost every symptom of withdrawal experienced by morphine abusers. All I could do was pray for my little boy as I watched him cry for no apparent reason. In that moment, I could not understand what he was going through and my patience was wearing thin. However, the ache in my heart grew stronger as I realized what was happening. It is the saddest thing you can imagine.

Nicholas insisted on going to bed early tonight and after just a few minutes, I went upstairs to give him more kisses and tell him how much mommy loves him. Yet...he was already sleeping. I can only imagine that his little body is trying to recover and regain strength to continue this journey. I now know that getting Nicholas gluten and casein free is vital. I only pray that his pain goes away quickly so that we can get to the other side of this leg of the journey.

Please pray for us.

God Bless.

xoxo